“Who are you?” said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening to a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I – I hardly know, Sir, just at present – at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”
A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down. Often I am like a small boat on the ocean, completely at the mercy of the waves. All the time and energy I spend keeping some kind of balance and preventing myself from being tipped over and drowning, shows my life is mostly a struggle for survival: not a holy struggle, but an anxious struggle from the mistaken idea that it is the world that defines me.




The Blessed winter has arrived. Unpacking one’s winter clothes is like getting reacquainted with oneself. I was going through the clothes deciding which to keep, which to sell and which to give away. There was not one single garment in which I could see myself. What I could very clearly see is that I had clothes to keep me dressed. I eat to keep me going. I run around doing workshops and courses, I clean, create, advice and love. Media entertains me, friends appreciate me. If I look at my life as an observer it is very clear that the whole motive of my existence is survival (surviving as pleasantly as possible). Survival has nothing to do however with living and being. I know this much. It is not the world or the people and things in it that defines who we are. We are not defined by our pasts. We are not defined by any of our loved one’s, by our IQ’s or EQ’s. We are not defined by other people’s judgements and perceptions of us. We are not defined by knowledge, degrees, certificates, diplomas. The list goes on infinitely. The question is what is it that define us. All of the above, build us, and determine how we interact with life. What defines us, is what we do with all we have. Knowing exactly who you are – and living an authentic life. A life that says I know who I am, therefore I know what I want to do, and have, and who I want to love, who I want to be in any given situation. Knowing that you are a mysterious, creative being and that sharing your truth with the world and those in it, will be what defines you. You and what you do with the building blocks of your life, creates the full blown image of you. The journey to yourself, is a complicated difficult one, filled with lots of pain and joy. I don’t think we can find clues on how to find oneself, in a self help course, with a shrink, or in a book. It is a deep and intensive study of one’s life, individual to each person. Knowing, without compromise, what you are capable of, what your dreams are. Living the life you were born to live not the one you are told and expected to live.