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“But if one says: I cannot come because that is my hour to be alone, one is considered rude, egotistical or strange. What a commentary on our civilization, when being alone is considered suspect; when one has to apologize for it, make excuses, hide the fact that one practices it - like a secret vice! Actually these are among the most important times in one’s life - when one is alone. Certain springs are tapped only when we are not alone. The artist knows he must be alone to create; the musician, to compose; the saint, to pray.”
Practicing aloness is I suppose a bit like practicing silence, a
pastime that is not taken very seriously or very frequently. I think
for the same reason in silence as in solitude we are confronted with
ourselves. Who we are, what our thoughts and fears are, and sometimes
“we” are just a bit more than “we” can deal with. It is so much easier
to solve other people’s problems to listen to other woes and get lost
in other lives. Our lives are sometimes just too boring or too
complicated. The same goes for silence, having the TV or radio on,
reading a book or making a phone call is so much easier than sitting
down and actually solving the problems we have. At some point in
silence and solitude we have to take responsibility for our lives for
all we are and all we achieve. I sound like such an expert because I am
so good at avoiding my problems and dissolving myself in the lives of
others or in a good book. It is just so much easier than dealing with
things. Knowing the answers and solutions is just so much easier than
practicing them.
23 January, 1997
